Discipline yourself to do the things you need to do when your need to do them,
…and the day will come when you will be able to do the things you want to do when you want to do them!
Have you ever felt that you need to do “Stuff” before you can do “Stuff”? Like, clean the house before your cleaner comes, or lose weight before you can be happy to have that photograph taken, or put on make-up before you can do a live FB, or learn something, everything, before you try or make a start, like, learn how to use your camera before you take your One to One or attend a beginners workshop (I see that one all the time) designed to help you use your camera? You get the idea, it goes on and on and on…
It is exhausting, time consuming and gives you an overbearing sense of anxiety.
Yeah? Well, that’s me, welcome to the world of Lee.
I’m fantastic (or I think I am) at helping others, motivating them, encouraging them, and my belief in what those around me can accomplish is second to none, I can be pretty ruthless, bossy, pushy (insert applicable word) if I think it will help get someone to their goal and achieve their dream.
The thing is, I am crap when it comes to me and my own personal development and that needs to change, otherwise I am going to get to 60 and have a load of regrets about not doing/learning/achieving the stuff I want to do/learn/achieve.
Yesterday, I came into my office at the normal time, after working a full and long weekend on Welshot admin, the idea being that Mondays are for Me! Monday’s were going to be MY days for doing stuff, for learning stuff, for achieving stuff. I didn’t really have any excuse why that could not happen, none at all.
Except, I was drowning, drowning in a sea of information, a pile of books, a mountain of saved links, bookmarks marked, pinned pins, vision boards, magazine cuttings, not to mention the numerous courses I’ve signed up for and not even made a start because I’d got so behind (the job I love always takes priority and that ain’t ever gonna change) and I just had NO idea where to freaking start.
Even before I’d unlocked my beloved bolt hole I call my office I’d got myself into a state, awake since 4.30am (as I normally am) I had already spent hours (as I normally do) going through the various blogs, FB links, websites and wot not I thought I’d learn from – today, all it had done, was make me even more anxious.
Someone once told me that I was, and am, too hard on myself, that I expect too much of myself when I am only just starting out – that comment was in relation to my newly found love of post processing (yeah! I know right!!) my photos using professional software but it pretty much applies to everything I do. If I can’t get it perfect, and it stays consistently perfect, then it, whatever the task, gets relegated to the (physical, online or my head) basket.
It also applies to my personal blog, this one, because I’ve not used this blog for a while I had somehow got it into my head that I needed a new one in order to start again, but that really wouldn’t have been fair on those who helped me to get this lovely designed and well built blog off the ground in the first place, and if I am honest I was, just making excuses.
The only problem with my blog lay with me… I just needed to use it, do something, write something, share something. Just. Freaking. DO SOMETHING!!!
My issues with my weight can also fall into this camp – if I have a bad day, that’s it, I think it’s all over and there is no point going on. I hate my score/record card having a gain on it, to me it’s not perfect and I feel I’ve failed. I just can’t seem to get my head around that at all. I have lost count how many times I’ve asked Jenny for a new record sheet! Trouble is, it is now, like most things, done digitally and electronically – so, it’s out there in Weight Watcher cyberspace so there is no getting around it – I just have to learn to deal with it.
So, upon unlocking my office, sitting down with a cup of strong black coffee and looking around me – and I just had the most overwhelming sense of dread, anxiety, sadness, lack of confidence, fear – you name it, it was all going on in my head.
I just didn’t know where to start…
What did I do? Well, I did what I always do, I started to work on Welshot, I switched on Facebook, I switched on my emails, I got out the business admin files and I just carried on with my normal, safe, easy routine of doing stuff I knew how to do.
Basically, I just dug my head deeper into the sand. I just hid that metaphorical basket even deeper so it couldn’t niggle at my conscience.
Until I got a phone call…
Then I just cried…
Cue someone who just says it like it is, who isn’t afraid of telling me to get a grip, to have more confidence, to just make a start, to tell me that I was spending far too much time, money, energy, and thought processes on stuff that was just adding to the anxiety, and I was much more intelligent at being able to work stuff out myself instead of collecting every bit of paper or information known to man on all I thought I needed to learn.
He sat me down with a coffee and I asked him to work through some links I’d saved on stuff I wanted to learn and where I could start. In my head I thought I’d only saved a few links – in-fact, I’d saved well over 500, and that was just links on FB, forget about the groups I was in or all the other social media platforms, blogs I read, emails, newsletters and websites I was subscribed to or members of. And remember, there was the physical paper stuff too.
So, we had a purge, working through the links first, I was asked questions such as, Why? What for? Did I really want to do/learn how to do that? What was my reasoning’s and thought processes. How easily could I find stuff when I actually needed it, instead of gathering material to horde and file, again, either in my head, online, in notebooks or physical files…
Within 15 minutes of starting I just turned to the man next to me, who was slowly starting to make sense and said “F**K” it – I’m just going to delete the lot – not even look at the titles. I then removed myself from groups (apart from Welshot groups and the ones I want to be in and enjoy being in), I un-liked pages (see previous) I unsubscribed from newsletter, emails and websites and after nearly two hours (yup, two hours) I was done and it felt AM-AZ-ING!!!
And then we did something fun – We had a “Photoshop Shoot-Out” using one of my images I had taken recently in New York and it made me laugh my freaking head off and it felt good 🙂 Can you tell which one was mine and which one was his?Then, I started on the paper stuff and I’ve now got a lovely nice pile of shredded material for the compost bin and a beautiful clean, clear, clutter free office and bedside cabinet.
Before going to bed I made myself a “To-Do-List” and a do-able-to-do-list at that. I also made a myself a schedule – I’ve built in some time for me, and during this time I will concentrate on one thing and one thing only. Then, and only then, if, and only if, I need to find some resources, do some research, find out how to, will I actually go looking for the information at that time.
I feel free, I feel a weight has been lifted and I feel I have got an achievable, sensible strategy for going forward.
After all, I am not building a Rocket-ship – I am simply wanting to do/learn/achieve some stuff and enjoy the journey as I go along. For me, like everything I do in life, it needs to be fun.
And it will be…